“We will now stop shooting the teachers”

From the Indiana State Teachers Association on Twitter:

“During active shooter drill, four teachers at a time were taken into a room, told to crouch down and were shot execution style with some sort of projectiles – resulting in injuries to the extent that welts appeared, and blood was drawn.”

This occurred at an elementary school in Monticello, Indiana this past January. CNN just posted a story on the whole sordid episode yesterday.

“The teachers were terrified, but were told not to tell anyone what happened. Teachers waiting outside that heard the screaming were brought into the room four at a time and the shooting process was repeated.”

Good God.

This was apparently the first time the local county sheriff’s department included this morbid feature of what is called “ALICE” training (Alert, Lockdown, Inform, Counter, Evacuate), the mandated protocol for what school teachers and staff are to do in a school shooting situation. Fortunately, it will likely be the last, as the Indiana state law that requires the training is being amended so that it’s no longer permissible to terrorize and actually injure people while they are being trained on what to do in the event that they are terrorized and injured by somebody.

Said State Rep. Wendy McNamara, the state bill’s author: “I would never have thought in a million years that anybody would have thought that it made sense to use in an active shooter drill where teachers are unaware that they’re going to be shot with a pellet gun…[t]hat would have never crossed my mind as something we’d need to legislate.”

I can certainly believe it. It is so quintessentially American for this day and age that it should surprise no one. It’s another microcosm of how the culture has become so utterly deranged and psychotic.

I’m sure the decision-making process went down something like this:

SCHOOL DISTRICT ADMINISTRATORS: “You know, it would be nice if we could give these drills a bit more of a flavor of realism…”

COUNTY SHERIFF: “Well we could march the teachers into a room a group at a time and shoot them in the head execution-style.”


COUNTY SHERIFF: “Ha, ha, ha…not for real, of course! Just with some rubber pellets using an airsoft gun.”

SCHOOL DISTRICT ADMINISTRATORS: “Oh, okay. What a relief! For a minute there I thought you were suggesting–“

COUNTY SHERIFF: “The pellets may draw a little blood and cause a few bumps to the old noggin–since we’ll be shooting them at point blank range–but it will give that kind of ‘oh-my-god-this-is-really-happening-right-now’ kind of feel that you’re looking for. And as long as we don’t warn them beforehand, they’ll be almost as mentally traumatized as if they were in a real honest-to-God school shooting.”

SCHOOL DISTRICT ADMINISTRATORS: “What a great idea! [snickering] I wish I could be there to see the looks on their faces! Oh my goodness…they’ll practically wet themselves! Ha, ha, ha, ha!”

Psychosis is what we Americans do these days. It’s who we are. If we didn’t respond to problems by completely flying off the handle and adopting batshit insane policies, we wouldn’t even be America.

We’d be some other country with at least an ounce of rationality.